A couple of years ago, a girl at the Ranch shared with me how she felt wronged–someone in her life had failed her. She had tried to do the right thing and went to talk through it (there was no personal danger in this situation), but the other person did not make the changes she wanted. Along the way, she faced a decision: should she forgive this person?
She wasn’t sure what to do. These days our society seems to say forgiveness enables abusers, doesn’t hold people accountable, is self-degrading, and mostly just inauthentic posturing. Forgiveness undermines justice. If she forgave, would she be feeding the problem? But what happens if we don’t forgive? Resentment–the result of not forgiving–affects us psychologically (unregulated emotions, anxiety, depression), relationally (loss of trust, built-up anger that redirects toward others), and even physically (issues with digestion, immunity, cardiovascular health, etc.). If we don’t forgive, we get stuck at that spot, essentially trapped in a prison under the power of the one who wronged us, unable to move on. Nelson Mandela, Carrie Fisher, and St. Augustine are all credited with the famous quote: “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” Andrew’s family uprooted from Kansas to move to California at the start of the pandemic in 2020. They had lived in Kansas for ten years, where they had established a faith community and Andrew had a good group of friends. He was baptized in front of this community at age twelve by his father, an associate pastor at the church. “I think I really did have a heart for the Lord back then. It was really good to be raised in the church.” The cross-country move took place as Andrew was entering high school and the family was navigating several transitions. Classes were meeting online and social gatherings were limited. His friends back in Kansas had been an anchor, and he was drifting now. Though Andrew continued to attend church regularly, the words from the pulpit fell on deaf ears. When classes began meeting in person again, Andrew gravitated toward the wrong crowd. His parents tried different measures to intervene, but Andrew was resistant and refused to engage with his counselors. His parents began looking into out-of-home placement for their son. Andrew arrived at the Ranch just after Thanksgiving. There were a couple of students at the time who were constantly pushing the bounds of the program, stirring dissension amongst the student body. Though Andrew was not an active participant, he assented to their attitudes and behavior. One night he was lying awake in bed talking with one of his roommates. He had been distant from God for so long he didn’t know how to pray anymore. Spiritual practices seemed hollow and strange. His roommate said, “Just treat God as your friend and talk to him.” Andrew began to build deep and meaningful relationships with the students and interns. “God started to work on me through these people. I slowly started to change the way I did things and the way I acted. The healing and growth was from Him.” Whereas before coming to the Ranch Andrew maintained a different image at school than at home or at church, here all pretenses began to fall away. Thinking about riding this year? Join experienced staff riders for a morning ride on the American River Trail in Sacramento. All experience levels are welcome. Meet at the Nimbus Fish Hatchery at 9:30am.
Come and bring a friend! Agony Kickoff Training Ride | Saturday, May 4th, 9:30am, American River Trail (meet at Nimbus Fish Hatchery)
Spring Serve Day | Saturday, May 18th, 9am - 1pm Year-end Celebration & Graduation | Saturday, June 1st, 10:30am Family Camp | Friday, June 28th - Monday, July 1st 42nd Annual Agony Ride | July 26th - 27th |