Student profile: Alynna

Alynna - known as Nyna - was born into a home of drugs, alcohol, and promiscuity. Due to the circumstances, her mom relinquished custody of Nyna when she was nine months old, along with her two older brothers. Nyna lived with her relatives and would visit with her mom as she grew up, watching her mom go through recovery and start a new family. Nyna was eight when her mom pulled her and her brothers aside and asked if they wanted to come live with her. They, of course, said “yes.”

After that, there was radio silence. They waited, but never heard back. They didn’t hear from her again.

Nyna was nine when she and her brothers started smoking. Their living situation had begun to deteriorate. “We were told we were untrustworthy, so we acted untrustworthy. We started lying about small things, then it became bigger. We felt like we had to do it to survive.” Nyna would come home smelling like smoke. She wanted someone to notice. It was a cry for help.

“I would go to church on the weekends. It was my escape from the asylum. I believed there was a God who loved. But where was He?”

Things at home only worsened. Both of her brothers had made suicide attempts and both had tried to run away from home. Nyna called CPS on multiple occasions, but no action was ever taken.

When Nyna was 13, her guardians were called to court, and they lost the case. “We were free.”

From there, Nyna and her brothers moved in with another set of relatives in Montana. After a big argument with their relatives, her brother left the house and did not return. This was a big loss, and Nyna didn’t know where to turn. Around that time, Nyna found her dad on social media. In an instant, they were reconnected for the first time since she was an infant.

Nyna bounced around from house to house in Montana. Aware of her situation, her dad offered for her to stay with him and his family. He picked her up and they made the 18 hour drive back to California.

The reunification was initially sweet for both her and her dad as they made up for lost time. Unfortunately, the honeymoon phase ended quickly, and a different reality set in. Nyna was soon looking for housing once again. She had been in contact with her Aunt Emily in Grass Valley, and when she called her having nowhere to go, her aunt reached out to Christian Encounter.

A month later, Nyna arrived at the Ranch. “I felt such despair coming here. It felt like I didn’t have a choice.” She felt unwanted and rejected.

Nyna recalls sitting in the corner of the living room during her first week watching people leave one by one to go up to the dorms, when a staff member turned to her and said, “Don’t think we forgot about you.” She smiled, feeling seen in this new place.

It was now August, just a couple weeks before the wilderness trip. A few days into the trip, one of the interns got baptized which prompted inner searching and reflection in the rest of the team. Nyna was sitting on a rock overlooking a lake, and she began to pray.

Nyna talked with another teammate afterwards, and they each shared they felt the prompt to get baptized. Peace came over Nyna as she stepped into the water. As she reemerged, she leaned into His words, “I have a better life for you - a better purpose for you.”

I felt like the Lord had taken off my filthy robes and wrapped me in white.

“I felt like the Lord had taken off my filthy robes and wrapped me in white. Nyna was left behind in the water, and Alynna had risen. He was telling me, ‘You’re a new creation, you’ve been made new’.” Later in the trip, Alynna sat on the mountaintop overlooking the terrain they had traversed. She thought, “You care to know me. You care to speak with me.”

Over the course of the next several months, Alynna began to experience physical symptoms that would require medical attention. This disrupted her daily life, and she would often have to stay up in the dorm to rest. Although this caused her to miss out on activities with her peers, the care she received during this time gave her a glimpse of the Lord’s love for her. As her roommates held back her hair as she threw up, the message she heard was: “I’m not afraid of your mess.” She saw the sacrifice of her interns and students in caring for her when she was at her weakest, when she had nothing to give in return.

Alynna shares, “In the middle of the school year, I had to take a two-month medical leave and was diagnosed with two chronic conditions, both linked with anxiety. I lost hope of graduating and fell into a depressive state. First I blamed God, and then I blamed myself for getting sick, but finally I started praying for God to take it out of my hands. The Ranch community was intently praying for my healing, and with a huge supportive family, my hope was restored. With a couple of amazing teachers, and a great support system, a plan was formulated so that I could take the rest the Lord was asking of me, and still keep up on my schoolwork.”

Despite these setbacks, Alynna graduated high school in June. Though this may be the first leg of her healing journey, Alynna now has hope, “...and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us (Romans 5:5).”