Student profile: Ethan

Ethan spent the better part of his growing up years in Oklahoma with his mother and two older siblings. After his father died when he was one, they relocated to California for a few years before returning to Oklahoma to tend to a family emergency. The following year, Ethan’s mother and sister, who was now 19, planned an itinerary for worldschooling, with destinations in Southeast Asia, India, and Australia. They traveled for a year and a half. Ethan was overseas when he turned eight.

Settling back into country life in Oklahoma was difficult, especially since town was an hour and a half away, and he had limited opportunities for connection. However, circumstances quickly changed when his mother saw the opportunity to take her boys backpacking on the Appalachian Trail. They started in Georgia, and four months later ended in New Hampshire.

Not long after they

returned, they moved back into the city. With little time to put down roots in one place, Ethan was eager for connection. He met a group of friends where he experienced brotherhood for the first time. Ethan was introduced to weed, and he began sneaking out. Then things started to escalate.

Ethan recognized where this path was taking him. He thought, “I can’t keep

living like this. I have dreams. I want to be an engineer…. I started praying, ‘Lord, I don’t know what to do. I’m stuck in this life.’”

Then, one of his buddies was arrested. Shortly after, his brother turned 18 and moved out.

Ethan calls what came next “negative nothing.” “It was this feeling of absolute desolation. I was being ripped away from reality. I had no one, Mom and I were fighting, and I was struggling with marijuana addiction. I wanted to go to school, but that never really happened.”

“I started having panic attacks every day. I couldn’t move out of bed. It was just my room, bathroom, and kitchen. I couldn’t see past where I was.” Ethan tried to find meaning, to make sense of it all. He had attended several different churches on and off through the years. He tried to imagine what God had in mind for him when He created him. What was his purpose?

Then, his mother announced they were moving to California. The news was another blow to Ethan.

After an eventful several-week journey to the west coast, Ethan learned that their housing situation fell through. “I just keep getting broken, broken, broken. Hope, then broken. Hope again, then let down. I was ready to kill myself.”

Ethan believed that in this moment of utter and complete despair, the Lord saw his state. And a feeling of deep assurance rose up somewhere inside him in that moment.

The next several months presented its own challenges as Ethan bounced around houses, motels, and shelters while trying to go to school. Ethan felt beaten down again and again. He made calls looking for resources and ended up temporarily at the Crisis Resolution Center.

The Ranch had been an option presented to him before, but now he was ready to come. “It was time. Time for structure, time for discipline, time for chasing my dreams.”

Ethan arrived with very little formal schooling, but jumped right in at the end of the quarter and worked hard. He quickly learned the daily schedule and routine at the Ranch, but it took some time to acclimate and allow himself to settle into Ranch life.

“The consistency and predictability brought a big peace. I could finally stop thinking of survival and finally live.”

“The consistency and predictability brought a big peace. I could finally stop thinking of survival and finally live.”

At Christmastime, Ethan wrote his mother a letter. It was an apology letter for the ways he had rebelled against her and disrespected her. He had carried so much anger towards her for so long. He longed to see his family united, without all the hatred and resentment. He had to take the first step.

As his time at the Ranch progressed, Ethan saw that school came easily to him, which gave him hope for further education. Once he received his driver’s permit, he began practicing weekly with his math teacher. His teacher became a mentor to Ethan and was a tremendous support in Ethan’s educational goals.

Ethan passed the GED in April and was accepted into Grand Canyon University.

“God has prepared a path for me after the Ranch. He’s allowed me to pursue my dreams on traditional timing for kids my age.” Another one of Ethan’s dreams is to build a family of his own one day.

Throughout all this, even in his times of deepest despair, Ethan has found this verse to be true: “When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.” (Psalm 27:10)

Ethan shares, “God can use me in my family. God can work through me. I can make a difference.”

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.” (Matthew 5:3-6)