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When JJ was in the fifth grade, he received the news of his father’s passing. He had only ever seen his father face to face twice in his life. Though not invited, JJ and his mother attended the memorial service, and JJ grieved the loss of a man he never got to know.
In his seventh grade year, classes went all virtual due to the pandemic, and JJ was relegated to his bedroom day in and day out. The months of isolation became oppressive.

“[The following] summer I had gotten involved in smoking and drinking. At first it felt freeing, because I had so much anger, sadness, and hurt in my life. When I did drugs, it all went away, and it felt liberating. For a long time I didn’t
realize that I was poisoning myself and my relationships, and slowly it turned less into something I did to help me and more into something I needed to get by. It was destroying my relationships with my friends and my family. I became a very angry, dysfunctional person.”
JJ was in the mental health ward of the hospital over his 15th birthday, where he was being monitored on suicide watch. A week after he returned home, his mother found out he had been smoking. For several weeks, his mother never let him out of her sight for fear of what might happen. She had also begun looking for out-of-home placement options for her son.
“When I came to the Ranch I was still a very angry person, but it wasn’t as apparent because I was pretty good at hiding it…. Three months into the Ranch, I publicly confessed I was done with God, I was super angry, I hated God, and I hated everyone there.”
“When I came to the Ranch I was still a very angry person, but it wasn’t as apparent because I was pretty good at hiding it…. Three months into the Ranch, I publicly confessed I was done with God, I was super angry, I hated God, and I hated everyone there.”
JJ’s opposition to authority and refusal to participate in the program resulted in repeated consequences. One night, he was serving one of these consequences,
completing the community dish chore.
An intern, Rachel, was nearby supervising JJ as he worked. She struck up a conversation with him and began asking him questions about his future. Up until this point, JJ had never really considered his future. “As we talked, I realized I wanted more for myself than doing nothing…. I wanted to have a successful life even though I didn’t want to admit it.” As JJ shared, Rachel affirmed his desires and that she believed he had what it took to get there. A seed of hope was planted.
However, as Christmas time drew near, JJ continued on a negative path. JJ watched as one of his friends was dismissed from the program and another suspended. He knew if his behavior didn’t change he would be next.

Five days into Christmas break, JJ was sitting on the hotel room floor at 3am, reckoning with life back at the Ranch. “I just realized I couldn’t do it on my own anymore. I asked God to take me back. I thought things would get better immediately, but it took a long time.”
“All I knew was to pray. Anytime I was walking - from the school to the lodge, to the bathroom - I would ask for a new heart, for peace, for His help.”
One day, as JJ was talking to one of the interns - someone he had struggled to get along with - he realized he was filled with love towards this person. “That made me realize I had a heart change.” He realized then, too, that he hadn’t woken up angry in a few days. “I felt this burden lifted off of me, and I felt like a lot of the pain and sorrow I was carrying had been taken away.”
JJ recognized that God had answered his prayers, that He had given him a new heart. In March, JJ had the opportunity to share his testimony with the Ranch family during Spiritual Emphasis Week. He began to experience restoration in relationships, and he began to put forth effort in all areas of Ranch life. “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.” (Ezekiel 36:26-27)
“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will rem