Intern Feature: Diary of an Intern

Luke Brouwer finished his internship last month, but living locally he continues to devote his days to the students twice a week. Below Luke shares excerpts from his daily journal log kept during his internship.

Journal - Day 83, Sunday: Now with only 7 days remaining to my 90 day commitment, I still have no idea what I am going to do. I want out. I want to quit. I hate being disrespected. I hate working so hard on something only to have it thrown back into my face and spat upon. I hate crying...it makes me feel weak, and I feel like I am making a fool of myself. But every time I cry out to God and tell Him that I can’t do this anymore, Jesus says to me: “I was treated worse than trash...I was spat on...I was abandoned by everyone...I was disrespected by you, I shed my tears for you, and yet I never gave up on you. I have invested so much into you - how much will you give back?”

​Journal - Day 94, Friday: One of the hardest weeks of internship so far, but as I looked back on the week, I realized that while I came out of the fire tired, I didn’t come out burnt away like chaff. I came out of the trial stronger, like gold. I truly felt Isaiah 40:31 applied to my life: “Those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength. They will rise up on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not grow faint.”​

Journal - Day 144, Saturday: I am sure glad that we serve an infinite God, because I am so bad at encouraging and comforting, but He keeps strengthening me and empowering me to keep plugging away. 

Journal - Day 161, Tuesday: One of the students ran out and I went after her, and she asked me why I even tried anymore, because this was like the eighth time I tried to cheer her up when she was hurting, and obviously “she was a hopeless case”. And I said it was because I believe that everyone needs someone who will never give up on them.

Journal - Day 200, Saturday: Well here we are. 200 days of not quitting. 200 days of never giving up. 150 days past the point where I thought it humanly impossible to continue. Also, God gave me the privilege of being the vessel that was used so He could work magic in a student’s life. I was just there, and got to see Him work.